Do You Feel Like You’re Struggling to Connect with God?
Do you feel like you’re struggling to connect with God?
Could it be that you’ve just been trying to develop a relationship with Him the way someone else does instead of discovering how you naturally connect with God?
For some people, sitting down with a handful of highlighters and a commentary feels life-giving. While someone else may feel closest to Him outside watching the sun come up.
I wonder if part of the reason devotional life has felt so hard for some women is because they’ve spent years trying to force someone else’s rhythm to fit them.
When the Picture Doesn't Fit
One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is how many women genuinely love God, but still feel like they’re doing devotional life wrong.
Not because they don’t care. Usually it’s the opposite. They care deeply. They want closeness with God. They want consistency. They want to feel connected when they open Scripture or pray.
But a lot of women were handed one picture of what that relationship was supposed to look like, and when it didn’t fit naturally, they assumed the problem was them.
I know I did.
For a long time, I thought strong Christians naturally loved the traditional quiet time structure. You got up early, sat down with your Bible and journal, followed the plan, stayed focused, and did it consistently every day without struggling so much.
And again, I want to be careful here because those things can be really good. Some of them are still part of my regular rhythms.
But I slowly started realizing that the tools are not the relationship itself.
And sometimes we accidentally elevate the tool or the method so highly that we stop paying attention to whether it’s actually helping us connect with God.
Relationships Aren't One-Size-Fits-All
We don’t really do this in other relationships. But with God?
The human people we love most are all different. I have friends that I spend time with by painting and making. I have other friends I connect with while hiking or kayaking.
There are women that I do Bible studies with and others I know only online and we connect through our ministry work.
And there isn’t a lot of crossover among these relationships. I don’t find that strange or stressful.
We understand naturally that relationships have personality and movement to them.
But spiritually, many women have quietly assumed there’s one “correct” emotional tone, one correct rhythm, one correct method for everybody.
That doesn’t reflect the creativity of God very well. And it isn’t what we saw with Jesus and how He related with each person in Scripture.
Discovering How You Naturally Connect with God
God made people intentionally different.
Some people are naturally drawn to studying and researching and digging deep into Scripture. They love word meanings and historical context and making connections across passages.
Other people notice God most when they slow down enough to pay attention to beauty or creation or quiet.
Some people process externally through journaling. While others process internally and need more space before they can even explain what they’re thinking or feeling.
Some women feel closest to God while creating something with their hands. Others while serving people or walking and praying.
Those tendencies are worth paying attention to instead of dismissing. They may be clues to how you naturally connect with God.
Years ago, in some of the early Beneath The Fig Tree teachings, I talked about the idea of God speaking the language your soul already understands.
I still believe that.
Not in the sense that we throw out Scripture and just follow feelings or signs or whatever seems meaningful in the moment. Scripture is always our anchor. It’s how we test and ground everything else.
But I do think God knows how to reach each of us in the way He created us.
He knows what makes you pay attention. The kinds of things that help you lean in instead of shut down.
Paying Attention to the Ways God Already Meets You
And honestly, some of the freedom for me came when I stopped trying so hard to recreate someone else’s devotional life and started paying attention to the ways I naturally engaged with God already.
Curiosity has always been a big one for me.
When I start noticing patterns in Scripture or digging into meanings or asking questions, I come alive. I genuinely enjoy it. It makes me want to keep going deeper.
Being outside does something similar for me too. It slows me down. I notice more. I pay attention differently.
And creativity has become part of that conversation too, especially in certain seasons. Not because watercolor or journaling are somehow holy by themselves, but because responding creatively sometimes helps me stay present longer instead of rushing through the moment.
Your Devotional Life Has Seasons Too
I think that’s another important piece of this conversation: seasons matter too. We talked about our different life-seasons in the last episode.
But there are also seasons in our devotional life.
Sometimes, deep study feels life-giving. But sometimes your brain is exhausted and sitting quietly with a Psalm is all you have capacity for.
There are seasons when you need structure. And others when structure starts feeling suffocating and you need room to breathe again.
That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.
Discovering how you naturally connect with God, and that He created you that way intentionally, is one of the most freeing and most impactful things you can do to help you cultivate a devotional life you not only love but look forward to.
And when you know you best connect with God, you’ll be able to flex in every season of your life. Because it won’t be about “doing a quiet time,” but about seeing Him in all the ordinary moments of your everyday life.
What I Hope You Remember
- God created people intentionally different.
- The tools are not the relationship itself.
- Scripture is always our anchor.
- There isn’t one “correct” way to connect with God.
- Your devotional life will naturally change with different seasons of life.
- Discovering how you naturally connect with God can remove years of unnecessary shame.
Try It This Week
This week, instead of focusing on what your devotional life “should” look like, pay attention to the moments where you already feel drawn toward God.
Do you find it easier to think about God while you’re baking, folding laundry, or watching the birds out your window? Or maybe you feel a sense of gratitude when you see a colorful sunset. Maybe your curiosity about Scripture is piqued when you’re listening to worship.
Just notice… without immediately judging whether it counts.
I think most women are already connecting with God more than they realize.
A Question to Sit With
When do you naturally find yourself leaning toward God?
As you go through your week, pay attention to the moments that quietly draw your heart toward Him. They may reveal more about how you naturally connect with God than you realize.
Continue the Conversation
If this resonated with you, here are a few ways to keep exploring:
🎧 Listen to the podcast episode
🌿 Join the Figs Community
Coming Up in This Series
- Don’t Ignore the Tug
- Small Ways to Start
Hey there, friend,
If devotional life has felt harder than it should, I hope this encouraged you today.
Let’s cultivate a devotional life you love. Like really love. Because it is possible and it’s so much easier than you think.
Chat soon, friend.
~Rose
